Reply to HS grades: are there any consequences that you impose?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your child is in HS and has missing assignments through the quarter and/or quarter grades that are not as good as you would hope/expect, are there any consequences from you (the parent) at home?

I have told my kids that they should be getting B's or better.  Both kids have had a number of missing assignments that I have seen on grade book and brought to their attention to rectify.   I know that no one is perfect, but I feel like not turning things in or not doing them in the first place is unacceptable (they are not doing their "job" as a student, yet they have plenty of time for video games/on line activities after school and on the weekends).  I also don't expect all A's b/c not every subject is going to be your strength and I got some B's in my day as well.

With the opportunities in FCPS to meet with teachers for help, I feel that "B's or better" is reasonable.

So, does your child have any consequences at home if they don't meet your expectations on grades?  
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By High school I let my kid handle the responsibilities.  Meaning the consequences will be if they get poor grades than[b] they may not be able to get into the college they want[/b].  So, that is their consequences.  It is not my job to micro manage my kids' school by this age.  They can make up assignments and talk to the teachers.  I've given them the tools already.

Basically, it is not my life and the credit and blame go all to them.    Maybe if parents didn't live through their kids more parents would back off.  As a result, they work hard to get the grades they want for themselves, not me or DH.

Not sure this helps you but, it works for us.  And yes sometimes they have poor grades but, they don't need me telling them that.  They know they have to work harder next time.[/quote]

What if your child doesn't have college in mind yet, so getting into a particular college isn't really a motivational factor?  It seems irresponsible for me as a parent to say "my job is done -- if you get low grades, it's on you!" when I'm talking about 14 and 15 yr olds.  According to this theory, a kid should get as much time on the computer/games as they want even when they do a half@ss job at school.  How is that suitable parenting?[/quote]

First of all, I never said "my job is done."  I said my kid's grades are their responsibility.    If they need help studying than I help them but, I don't nag and I don't manage their computer time/games.

Through bad grades they have learned that they need to study more and turn off the computer.  By making mistakes they have learned to manage their time without me nagging them.  We started in 9th grade when the grades don't matter as much and now in 12th grade they are able to get decent grades because of them, not me nagging them or me having to take away privileges.  Often times my kids will say I'm taking a 30 minute break ( or whatever but, I have to do x or y) and then they do it.

If you don't give your kids the internal desire to learn and do well than you aren't doing them any favors.   But, you know your kids better than I do and I know what works for my kids.  Just giving op a different perspective.  It doesn't mean you are a better parent and I am worse ( or vice versa)  When they were younger and I checked up on them they would say "don't you trust me?" Now I can and I've seen the results.  No, they aren't going to Harvard but, I wouldn't think they would be happy there.  But, they are going to college.

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