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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You love your father. You love your father pretty unconditionally as a young child. How you interact with him when you're learning how to bond with other people informs how you let people you love generally treat you.

I don't think anyone DEFINITIVELY determines anything in your future. But children learn from their parents. If a little girl sees her dad berating mom and her, criticizing women's appearances, neglecting her, then the little girl learns how to love someone that mistreats her. And it will leave a hole in her emotional health that she'll always be trying to fill up.

People gravitate towards what they know, even if what they know is bad. [/quote]

[b]Or the woman learns to pick a husband who is the polar opposite of their father.[/b]

Of me and my 3 sisters, 2 of them selected a guy similar to our dad. One picked a guy who was selfish and irresponsible/immature, but pleasant.  The other picked a guy who is responsible, but has a very short temper, no filter and can be difficult to be around.

2 of us picked guys who were very different from our father. One is very stable, mild mannered, responsible and an achiever. The other picked a guy who is stable, responsible, mature and pleasant.  Neither of them are creative or spontaneous, which is one of our dad's best qualities, but they are definitely stable.

The two who picked husbands just like dad have lower self esteem and were both daddy's girls.

The two who picked guys who were opposite of dad had more goals/higher self esteem and also had antagonistic/rebellious relationships with our dad.

That is my sample size of 4.[/quote]

This was me but I also grew up without a father. I knew I wanted to marry someone very different from my father and so far it has been going well. There are still issues in my marriage but overall it's good. My father has always been a bit distant and I stayed clear of men that were not smitten with me.

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