Reply to Incapable H goes deep in debt for new business, screws it up, ignores my help -at the end of my wits

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Reply to "Incapable H goes deep in debt for new business, screws it up, ignores my help -at the end of my wits"

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[quote=Anonymous]I need some impartial advice as my head is boiling and cannot think straight anymore.

My husband has worked as an independent contractor for many years, where he just needed to provide his labor. That work required him to travel constantly, sometimes for months at an end. Because he wanted to have his own business, we purchased him a large store (cheaper than renting beyond the first seven years) and a lot of expensive machinery. He recently opened the store, but has screwed up many things: it is still only partially furnished, the website is not functioning, and he has no staff or clients whatsoever.

While he worked as an independent contractor and now too I have handled all of his accounting, tax returns, insurances, licenses, contracts, banking, billing, invoice payments, retirement contributions, investments, etc.

Nevertheless, throughout this time and now more so than ever he has kept saying that I should stay out of his hair, "not interfere" with his business and focus on my work instead. But the problem is that he is completely incapable of managing a business. Just a tiny example: recently he signed blindly a contract form that his contract partner had incorrectly filled out with H' own basic details like business name and tax ID number. He was not even able to review and correct the blatant mistakes in these basic details.

If I didn't deal with the incoming mail he would not get anything done.

Yesterday I found out that he has not even distributed the business cards that I had designed and ordered many months ago, because he doesn't like a minuscule detail that nobody would notice. That's when I completely lost it.

I work as an independent contractor, too, and take care of our two young kids. Because of H's heavy work commitments I decided some years ago to quit the corporate world, in order to have more flexibility. As a result until recently he earned 5x what I make. But now with his own store, his little income doesn't even cover his business loan repayments.

He is convinced that his business is bound to bloom in a couple of months, and that I am just complaining, criticizing and generally making his life miserable. He threatens every week to move out.

I am so worried that we will soon not be able to pay our mortgage, not to mention his own business loan payments. I can hardly think straight. I am concentrating on my work, but can likely not do enough business development quickly enough to cover all of our living expenses.

I am tired of not getting any appreciation from him for my help. I would love to get a divorce, but I don't want to blow up our children's lives.

I hope that he will find a COO who will take over all that I have been doing for his business. Dealing with him makes my mind boil, I am in a constant rage. How far is this from the peaceful mindset in which I would like live my life. I cannot live in this rage anymore. I am sure one can say that it is a question of attitude, that it is up to me not to react to the situation with such a rage.

But it has gotten to a point where I can hardly muster a minimum of friendliness toward him, seeing how incompetent and unrealistic he is. 
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