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Reply to "College Drop out, What would you do?"

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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - First of all, it will have to be DH and her Mom with a united front so that she does not play the adults off one another who agree to a plan of support for for her.  It is not unusual for mental health issues to arise in college, and she may not even realize fully why why thongs fell apart.

- She needs to see a doctor for a mental health screening.  I would say a psychologist who could assess ans make a judgment of whether therapy alone or a referral to a medical doctor for medication would be warranted.

-  She would probably do better to find a job and get used to being in a routine again, out of the house and relating to other folks.   Rather than having her on a treadmill of a full-time job, a part-time job might provide structure AND flexibility to deal with health issues first, figure out why college did not work,
get some counseling related to careers, her interests and pathways there as a 4 year degree is not the only way.  Also, she could have the time to look at volunteering or doing some job shadowing/unpaid internship (part-time) if she defines a career interest before going backmtomschool again.

- Expectations on what she will need to do as an adult member of the household will need to be set forth and what is not acceptable as this is not a college dorm setting.

- It is important to talk in terms of future goals and to set timelines as appropriate to help her move forward because even with a MH diagnosis. It may take medication and therapy to help her move forward.  If there are other children in the home, you and DH will also need to set clear expectations for how she interacts with them, too.

We went through this with our oldest daughter even when grades never were the issue.  In many ways today the pressures and daily rigors of HighnSchool years to get to college often leave little time for self reflection on what will happen once one is there or even why did I really choose a certain school.  
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