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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, I have BTDT and there is no easy way to get past the pain unfortunately. Someone told me at the beginning though that "you can't save your marriage by yourself".  That helped me realize that I had tried all I could and there was nothing else I could do to keep us from divorcing if that's what he wanted.  You sound like you've done more than your share to make things right when he's done the opposite.  My ex also felt attention-deprived when our kids were really young, and I've come to realize that he just needed constant attention and validation from me and others. Now I'm so glad I don't have to worry about "am I giving DH enough attention?". Seriously, a needy grown man cheating on his wife in order to obtain whatever satisfaction they otherwise lack is so weak. Someone who would do that and disrespect the person they vowed to spend the rest of their lives with is not someone you want to be married to, trust me. I say that now but fully recognize that it took me a while to see things that way.

For now, my advice would be to take it one day at a time, protect yourself and your kids (i.e. lawyer up and work on negotiating the most favorable terms you can - especially while he may feel guilty), rely heavily on friends and family and take care of yourself as best as you can.  It will get better!      [/quote]

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