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[quote=Anonymous]I think when you are as blunt as you were with your mom then you invariably set up a fight, which it sounds like you now have.  So my advice is to tone down the words in the future.  Why throw oil on the flames?

You should not ever put your children in a situation where there is a sexual predator because you may not be able to protect them.  However, for garden variety dysfunction, it can be helpful to expose your children in small doses so that they can have their own range of experiences and judgements.  If you have been doing a good job as a parent, and it sounds like you have, then they will be able to read the signals and develop their own assessment of their relatives, and it most likely will coincide with yours.  If you never expose them then you leave them open to being surprised one day by a relative or someone with similar patterns, and your kids may not have developed the skills to cope or repel the person.

I do question the wisdom of leaving your children with someone whom you feel did not protect you as a child.  Has your mother changed that much?  Or do you think that the situation is more controlled?  It seems odd.[/quote]

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