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[quote=Anonymous]My mom has always been there for me and still is. But I have noticed in the past several years that when I try to talk to her about real adult problems, be it illness or professional failures or kid worries or emotional struggles, she just kind of doesn't care.

Every thing of substance that I try to talk to her about gets one of two responses. 
- "Everything happens for a reason." or "Everything works out in the end." This means the discussion is over. 
- She makes it about her. Here's a made-up example "Mom, DH has a suspicious mass on his foot and needs a biopsy next week. I am so scared." Mom says "I know. It will all work out. That reminds me of when I broke my ankle. Do you know it still hurts when it rains? I have to go to the doctor next week to check on it. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

It is maddening in that I am 40 years old and I can not stop myself from talking to my mom about these things, yet I know these are the responses I will get. My dad actually engages, and that is nice, but I crave a relationship with my mom where we can really talk about more than surface-level stuff or how she was offended at work yet again. I understand 60-something women sometimes get like this, but it's sad to me that my mom will never be the mom from tv who can sit down over coffee and hug me and depart sage advice. Maybe she never did? I don't know anymore. My MIL would do that, but I don't have interest in that bond with her (it feels like cheating I guess?).

I don't know what I am looking for but I bet a lot of other DCUMers experience this too. [/quote]

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