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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From your description of not being invited to the girlfriend's kids' bar mitzvahs, it sounds like she herself has kids.  Which makes this strange.  Or makes it sounds like her kids and your kids have a conflict.  How old is she, and is there an age difference between the girlfriend and the FIL, and what are the ages of all the kids?[/quote]

FIL is in his 70s.  We are not allowed to know her exact age (not joking) but ballpark mid-late 50s.  Her kids were late elementary/middle school age when we met them; we were adults well into our 20s.  Her kids were being bar mitzvahed when our oldest nephew was a baby and then a toddler.  Our relationship with her kids isn’t close/cozy—they’re now in their 20s and we are middle aged.  There is zero conflict between her kids and our collective kids, who range in age from 4-12.

Is is strange, in that I cannot think of what any of us has done—adult or child—to estrange her in any way.  I think it’s more likely that as her kids have aged and moved out, and she doesn’t have grandkids of her own—that she largely does not want to deal with children.  And/or that her anxiety (she’s clearly anxious, not clear if it’s diagnosed or treated as such) has worsened over the years and something about having our kids around exacerbates it.  At the most recent “family” event, to which our children were invited and then uninvited, another nearby relative was also told she could not bring her children.  So it’s not always unique to our kids/FIL’s grandkids. [/quote]

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