Reply to Would you maintain relationship with in laws for the sake of inheritance?

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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, it is an awful thing to say out loud, I know.  In laws have always talked about a sizable inheritance going to Dh and his brother who is single.  DH is ambivalent about seeing his parents regularly and we alternate holidays with them (to my MIL's dismay).  Both of our families are local.  Anyway, over the years I have reminded DH of their birthdays and helped with organizing get togethers for holidays or sending gifts, etc.  I've found MIL to be childish and a bit erratic.  She sulks if we are not with them on a holiday, if she feels we spend too much time with my family, and for a variety of other reasons.  When she is in a good mood and feels like we're paying enough attention to her (usually around holidays we are with her or her birthday) she becomes quite generous all of a sudden and offers to pay for our children's tuition or to buy us a new big ticket item for the house, etc.  Then other times, when we've done something wrong in her eye, which she doesn't always communicate, we won't get responses to our texts or calls, birthdays will get ignored etc.  In the past I've reached out to see what is wrong and how we can smooth things over, but frankly, I'm tired of it.  I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and wondering what I or DH has done wrong.  Sometimes she is justified for being upset - DH not making time to go see them or helping out when they ask, but other times I really have no idea what the issue is other than I'm taking her son away from her or our kids are spending too much time with our parents.

I think DH would be fine only seeing them once or twice a year but I feel like that is so wrong.  I'm worried he'll regret it one day, our kids miss out on seeing them, we end up spending holidays with my family or alone, we are not made to feel a part of the family at times, and of course we don't benefit from their generosity.  In the long run, I'm worried that MIL will end up cutting DH off if we go on a long streak of not seeing or communicating with them.  She can be very petty, and didn't come from money herself so she loves the power of her fairly new found wealth.[/quote]

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