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[quote=Anonymous]This is OP.  He might not like the Forced Exchange of Stuff.  Before any of us had kids, I suggested we either stop this or scale back to under $20 and no one supported this, but he might now.

I know he wants gifts for DS.  Whenever my other brother asks for gift suggestions, OB sends us a long email with multiple options.  My nephew's gifts usually run about $50-80 and OB never suggests that they are too expensive.  Especially since the divorce, he wants DS to get lots of gifts from us so that DS wants to keep seeing us.  I understand this since ex-DW tries to manipulate DS (guilt trip, bribe with gifts) so that he chooses not to see us.  Sad situation.

I like the direct suggestion "please bring a bottle of wine" and will try this next time.

For my part, I'm not sure if what I'm doing is right or not.  DH and I are much better off than OB and get his DS gifts about $50 because we know that OB can't afford them.  I think he wants them, but it might sting his pride.  With the divorce, OB needs to spend a lot of money to furnish his home and have things for his DS at his new home.  A friend just gave me a bunch of nice books for DD, but they're too old for her so I asked OB if he wanted them (letting him know we didn't buy them).  He sounded happy to get them so I passed them along.  I probably should not do more than this to help him?  Given his pride.[/quote]

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