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[quote=Anonymous]Older brother divorced with seven year old DS.  Before he got married and for maybe the first year of marriage, he was actually good about giving gifts.  Since then (about eight years ago), zero gifts and in some instances, it is glaringly rude.  For instance, my 70-something parents will host a nice family dinner for 10 at their place, do the cooking and clean-up and buy drinks specifically for OB's DS.  For eight years, OB has not once brought a bottle of wine, flowers or even a $2 bottle of soda.  He DOES bring one thing and one thing only, each time: a six pack of IPA for HIM to drink (he will share if asked).  At Christmas, he receives gifts from our parents and brother every year.  DH and I buy Christmas and birthday gifts for his DS.  OB's DS and our DD's birthdays are in the same month so the non-gifting is especially weird and obvious.  He does give our DD hand-me-downs from DS.

I'm sure OB has his reasons and we would all be fine if he brought a gift half or even less than half of the occasions that call for it.  It's the fact that he never brings anything.  I'm guessing finances is one reason, but if he can afford and find the time to buy himself a $15 six-pack of IPA, why not buy a bottle of wine (that everyone can enjoy) once in a while instead?  DH and I prefer books as gifts for DD and they're inexpensive.  I think pride is an issue as well; he has the least money out of the family and would rather get DD nothing instead of a $10 book since he can't afford a $50 toy (which we don't want, anyway).

Ultimately, this annoys me, but doesn't affect my relationship with him and will not stop me from buying gifts for my nephew.  It does, however, upset my parents greatly and affects their relationship with OB.  They now refuse to meet with OB unless one of their other kids will also be there.  I'm not close enough to OB to say anything, but my other brother who is closer to him did drop a hint.  No effect.  Not sure what more we can do?  [/quote]

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