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[quote=Anonymous]I reduce the opportunities to lie wherever possible. Instead of taking teen’s word that work is done, we check the assignments against class websites and the plan book. There has to be evidence that the work is complete for the day. For example, reading needs to be accompanied by some sort of note taking. We do this early enough in the evening that there is a chance to finish up  anything that’s missing. If I’m at all unsure about whether an assignment is done on time or correctly, I take 30 seconds to email the teacher. It costs me nothing, and they are usually appreciative that I’m on top of things.

I try to help too with organizing papers and planning for long-term assignments. As soon as we know about assessments, papers, and projects, we write out a schedule to get the work done. Checking on progress against that schedule is part of daily  homework checks-ins.

I try to be consistent with logical consequences that are connected to the motivation for the lying or the cause of the lying. For example, if the motivation was to have more free time in the afternoon, then my consequence will be something that limits free time, like more chores. If the cause of the distraction that delayed homework getting started was the smartphone, then I start limiting the hours in which the data plan can be used on the teen’s phone.

It’s a lot of work to stay on top of these things. I find a month is usually enough to reset habits back to a better place. Then we can lighten up a little unless and until the gradebook tells us otherwise.

During this time you should also bring up the lying with the doctor treating the ADHD. Sometimes there’s underlying fear about one’s abilities or shame that contribute to the lying cycle. You’ll get the best results of a mental health counselor helps your teen examine those things as well. Sometimes it’s a sign that a medication adjustment might be helpful.[/quote]

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