Reply to Cannot say I am the love of her life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm with her. "Love of your life" is a tired trope.  Focus on your real world issues, not some fairy tale ideal like the zing of a first kiss that lasts forever. Time to build an adult relationship.[/quote]

This.  Focus on what you want, what you feel, and don't get hung up on framing it all that way.  [/quote]

+1 Some people interpret "love of my life" as the person they were the most crazy for, that person you just can't live without.  That's how it's romanticized in our culture.  I can categorically say DH is not the romantic partner that fits this definition.  That would be my super awful boyfriend from my early 20s.  I would tolerate any amount of crap from that dude because "I loooooooove him!"  And I spent years being miserable trying to make it work with him because I was convinced he was The One and I could not imagine life without him.  It was pure desperation, not love, and a heavy dose of fear of being without him.  I thank my lucky stars that he eventually dumped me because it was such a terrible relationship.

I never drive myself crazy with DH because... I don't have to.  I'm with him not because I can't imagine life without him, there's no desperation, I'm with him because I want to be.  I know I would ultimately be ok without him so it's not fear keeping me here.  I'm with him because I love him, he loves me, and we are good for/to/with each other.  But that doesn't fix the sexy, over the top definition of "love of my life" that the romantic comedies of my youth told me was the brass ring I should be striving for.  [/quote]

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