Reply to Type A/Super Type B - Making it work in the long term

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Reply to "Type A/Super Type B - Making it work in the long term"

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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I have been together for 18 years, married for 13. I lean towards type A - driven, competitive, and (occasionally) high strung, while he is the ultimate type B, sometimes to his detriment.   
This difference is partially what first drew me to him as his personality and temperament were so different than most of the men I was previously with. It was a welcome change and something that I still do love about him. When we were younger and childless, we used to balance each other perfectly.

Fast foward to the present - we're in our early 40s, kids, mortgage, normal life ups and downs, and I can't help but find myself getting increasingly frustrated with him and his lack of motivation.  I've worked very hard to establish my career and earn more than twice what he does. He has been in the same mid-level job for the last 10 years and has no desire to advance or pursue other opportunities. On top of being the breadwinner, I am the 'default' parent and also take care of everything for the kids, house, home improvement projects, holidays, travel - you name it.  He's a good dad and does help out with some basic chores, but the overall division of responsibilities is severely lopsided.

I talk with him regularly about this and am honest about the constants stress and pressure I am under, and while he gets it, nothing really changes in the end.  Occasionally after I blow up at him things will turn around a bit for a few days or weeks, but then it's back to the usual status quo.  I still love him but find myself steadily losing respect for him and feel like we are on a bad path.  I've done everything I know to try and be supportive to him in our work and home lives - helped him through certifications and courses for work, worked together to come up with a more equitable division of household chores, etc. but nothing ever changes.

I'm tired of feeling overburdened and unhappy. He says he loves me more than ever and is committed to our marriage and family, but his actions just don't equate with his words/feelings.  He is not depressed, unhappy or cheating and is pretty content with the way things are, except for my unhappiness. How can/do we move forward? I don't expect for him to change who he is, but things can't continue like they are for much longer.

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