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[quote=Anonymous]Here is my perspective from a former minnion of the mean girl (she was my best friend but turned nasty when her parents had a nasty divorce) and the mom of the 6th grade boy who got bullied and iced by his friend when and alpha male bully got permanently assigned to their lunch table.

When any of us got together with the victim and the bully was there, we all were pretty merciless. The queen bee would go all out, and the others would either jump in (not usually me) and or give support or approval by either laughing along or not saying anything (what I usually did and probably what your daughter does).  When the bully was not there we treated the victim well and enjoyed her company.  That poor girl! Her parents would arrange one on one get togethers and sleepovers separately with the other girls, or just the bully, hoping to build friendships. Those would go great but once Queen Bee got into her element in front of her minnions, the bullying would pick right up again. I think that made it worse for the girl because she would have hope then it was back to bullying.

My son was bullied but as long as the bully was not around the friend group was great.  The bully never seemed to be invited to the same parties with the friend group (I don't think the moms liked him) so my son was able to enjoy time with his gang free of the bully and that stress. During that long year, having time with his friends that was not the mom arranged pity play date made all the difference in the world and helped him get through that time.

My vote is to include the girl and not the two mean girls, and make sure it is a small enough group where your daughter can say "My mom only let me invite four people"[/quote]

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