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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Before we had our first (biologically) we were in the adoption process. Now after having a bio kid, I have more concerns about adopting that I didn't really have the first time. Your insight would be helpful:
1. Adopting internationally: I'm concerned about how an child of a different race might feel in an all white (and very fair) family. 
2. Adopting domestically: I struggle with the idea of an open adoption. Yes, I know that studies show it's better for child. We just aren't totally comfortable with it.
3. Will I feel differently about my adopted child than my biological? I fear that I'd be closer to my bio child.

* I think these are valid concerns and would appreciate any thoughtful responses. I haven't been on this thread in years but seem to recall that since it's anonymous there can often be snarky or nasty comments. Please try to refrain ?
Thanks[/quote]

I can answer some questions.  I'm an adult adoptee (transracial, international) who was adopted into a white family.  I didn't have any siblings who were biological to my parents, but we definitely were a conspicuous family.  Lots of questions came our way- some genuinely curious and some plain old hurtful.  You have to remember that your child will always be viewed as a minority and will therefore be subjected to the racism and prejudice just like any other non-adopted minority.

My white husband and I also adopted a child from the same country from which I was adopted, and we have a biological child.  So in my family, we're transracial, interracial, and international all in one! My circumstances may well be different than yours because we adopted first and then had the bio kid. I love my children equally.  It's hard to verbalize, but it's true.

I must confess that after a lifetime of being conspicuous, I'm enjoying the relative anonymity afforded by being the same race/ethnicity as my children.

I think you're asking hard, honest questions.  Good luck![/quote]

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