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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Before we had our first (biologically) we were in the adoption process. Now after having a bio kid, I have more concerns about adopting that I didn't really have the first time. Your insight would be helpful:
1. Adopting internationally: I'm concerned about how an child of a different race might feel in an all white (and very fair) family. 
2. Adopting domestically: I struggle with the idea of an open adoption. Yes, I know that studies show it's better for child. We just aren't totally comfortable with it.
3. Will I feel differently about my adopted child than my biological? I fear that I'd be closer to my bio child.

* I think these are valid concerns and would appreciate any thoughtful responses. I haven't been on this thread in years but seem to recall that since it's anonymous there can often be snarky or nasty comments. Please try to refrain ?
Thanks[/quote]

I don't know the answers to 1 or 3, but as an adoptive mom, I can talk a little about the open adoption piece.  For us, open adoption just means letters/pictures once a year (used to be more often, but starting elem school it's once a year).  I know the name of my children's bio moms and as my kids get older and start to ask questions I'm so glad that we have the ability to help them search for their bio families if they decide to go that route.  It's cruel to the kids for the adoption to be completely closed and you have to put your own fears aside and do what's best for your kids (as in every situation, not just this one).  I urge you to be less afraid of the open adoption if you move forward.[/quote]

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