Reply to Never Feel Good Enough.

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[quote=Anonymous]I feel like I am completely unlovable and destined to be alone. I know it’s mostly by my own doing. I am about to turn 29 and I have nothing. I’ve only had one boyfriend ( still a virgin) in my life that was back in high school and brief. I am a huge introvert and due to sexual abuse and severe body issues, I’ve never had much of a social life. At 22, I got sick and gained a lot of weight ( I was always thin until then) which left me with stretch marks and further impacted my low self-esteem. I have always struggled with feeling like I’m not attractive enough or good enough. I have never had a real boyfriend and don’t have any friends anymore because the issues and becoming a hermit had a negative impact on my friendships. I work as a nanny, which is a very isolating job, and although I wanted to go school, i’ve never had the money and felt too ashamed that I was far behind my peers. I still live with my parents, which is one of the factors for my low self-esteem. I had an upbringing filled with emotional, sexual, and physical abuse.

I have decided I don’t want to live the way I am. I don’t want to be at my parents house or have my family think I’m a lesbian ( I’m very straight). I want to be love a life full of happiness. I’ve decided to become an RN because I love helping people. After paying off very high medical bills, I have saved to move out. I am also losing weight. The thing is I almost feel it doesn’t matter. I feel because of all my baggage, I will never find a guy that will ever want me. I don’t have anything to give, and men like women who are good in bed, educated, attractive, etc., which I am none of those things. I can’t help but feel like a loser and failure at life, and like I am just not good enough for anyone. I have a lot of social anxiety and I care way too much what people think of me. I want a boyfriend, marriage, children, etc. I am so lonely and just want someone to love me, but I just wonder if I am destined for this pathetic existence of life. [/quote]

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