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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid was that busy. Her job was school. Why wouldn’t you let them make time for friends? They will have time enough to contribute to their own household in college and beyond. Your household is your responsibility. Hire out as much of it as you can.

OP here.  While my kid is busy with school, she's no more busy than my husband or I (who both have full time jobs).  [b]I don't want her thinking that when she wants me to do something (like drive her somewhere) I should drop everything to do what she wants, but when I ask for something (like unloading the dishwasher) it's too much to ask.[/b] [/quote]
I'm with you, OP.  I received an allowance, and my parents were explicit that I received an allowance because I was part of the family, and I did chores because I was part of the family--everyone shares in the work, everyone shares in the benefits.  I was busy with school, too, as well as a part-time job and extracurricular activities.  But that was not an excuse not to pitch in--I helped vacuum and dust, clean the bathrooms, set and cleared the table, emptied the dishwasher, folded laundry, and fed the pets.  I take the same approach with my kids.  And I'm really clear that reciprocity matters.  If they want me to do things for them (beyond ensuring that they are housed, clothed, and fed), they had better be doing their share around the house.  (As my mom said, "Why should I go out of my way to do things for people who are not kind to me?")  Yes, it's my house, but it's their home, too.  My expectations are not onerous, but they are clear.  We have a weekly chore chart; they have flexibility on some of the chores as to when they want to do them, but the chores have to be done.  If the chores aren't done, then fun things do not happen.  Work, then play.  
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