Reply to I don’t want to have a child because I feel like I’m already married to one.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I came home yesterday after a weekend away. I came down with the flu and was sick. We had a 3 hour drive on the way home and had multiple chores to do once getting home (unpacking, laundry, cleaning and grocery shopping.) I asked DH to clean the litter box when we came home. He chose to sit on the couch and check his emails because he was tired while I unpacked, did the laundry, took out the garbage and cleaned the cat box. He got upset with me when I started cleaning the cat box because he “was going to do it”, but he didn’t seem to indicate that he had any plans to do so as he literally plopped his suitcase in the middle of the room and sat down.

We went grocery shopping, and DH didn’t want what I was making (chicken soup) and asked me to make him a different soup: I cooked and cleaned up, then had to fold laundry. I was tired and sick and frustrated that DH wasn’t picking up any slack and asked him to make dinner. He thankfully did but I still ended cleaning up. He started whining that he needed help making his lunch for the next day. He also needed help setting up his iPhone because he couldn’t figure out how to restore it from iCloud.

In case anyone asks - yes I asked him for help multiple times. I had to repeat myself several times because he was either on his phone, on his laptop, or   or watching TV and couldn’t “hear me.” If he was sick and had the flu I would certainly pick up the slack and take care of him rather than the other way around. I can’t imagone having a child with this man and him copping out when household tasks need to get done. He still “helps” with the house but rarely initiates cleaning and I always have to ask. Is it too much to ask for an active, engaged partner?[/quote]

No, it's not too much to ask, in general.

Does he want to have a child?[/quote]

Yes, he does.[/quote]

Then I would share this post with him.  You very clearly articulated what happened and why you feel you already have a child.  If possible, the two of you need to have an adult conversation about this.  Either he is a capable adult that can take on at least half of the child rearing and household running chores or he can't.  If he can't, you need to tell him, you are not interested in having a child with an incapable partner.[/quote]

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