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Reply to "8 year old boy - behavior - need help"

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[quote=Anonymous]I will respectfully disagree with the ped on one point: it's pretty common for kids to be able to hold it together at school, then lose it at home, or the reverse.

Some of the behaviors you've listed point to anxiety and/or attachment issues: the red flag is the controlling behavior.  You might want to take a look at the work of Gordon Neufeld, especially his discussion of anxiety and "alpha" children.  There are lots of his videos on YouTube.  Essentially, Neufeld recommends that parents work to maintain calm and compassionate leadership in the family while being a safe container for their children's frustration and fear.

I would also wonder what's changed in your older child's experience of school.  Third grade is a more challenging year academically for many kids.  Are there new social dynamics on top of that?  Is this the first year in which your older kid has to "share" school with his younger sib?  (Think about how that might bring up issues around your family dynamics in general.)

Family therapy--or at least a consultation for the parents with a family therapist--might be a good route here.[/quote]

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