Reply to Why do they say to wait a long time to start a new relationship after a divorce/separation?

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Reply to "Why do they say to wait a long time to start a new relationship after a divorce/separation?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds snarky, but this is a genuine question. Truly, what should you be doing during that time period? And yes, this is something I am facing so I can only focus on the negative right now (being alone through the holidays, birthday, etc) and I want to know what makes that loneliness worth it. Because I can't see how it matters how many new hobbies I get, or how many friends I have, or how great of a family I have, or how much I go to the gym, I[b]'m still going home to an empty house at the end of the night. Am I supposed to figure out how to enjoy this first and that's how I know I am "ready"?[/b] [/quote]

Yes.  You need to learn to love being with yourself, by yourself.  You need to bring your whole self to a new relationship.  You cannot expect someone else to fill a void in your life.  The reason people say to wait is that right now you are carrying a lot of baggage from your previous relationship.  You need to unload that baggage and figure out how not to pick it again during the next relationship.

The first year is HARD.  It is lonely.  It is filled with heartache and tears.  And then, your step gets a bit lighter, you smile a bit more, and one day you turn around and realize you are on the otherside and you are happy.  Then, you are ready for your next relationship.[/quote]

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