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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Opposite for my DS, who was very outgoing until MS, then withdrew and became very timid. Third year of MS now and he’s just starting to be less timid. As he’s come out of his shell, he has made friends, and as he’s made friends, he’s gotten more courage.

Last summer we put him in Outward Bound and had him travel three times alone internationally (we live in a non-English speaking country, so sent him to US for OB, school trip, and another camp in the UK) to help develop confidence. He still does therapy once a week (anxiety & depression). He also recently earned a black belt in his martial art.

And we (as a family) tried a lot of new things over the past year (surfing lessons, self-imposed food challenges, etc.), all with a mind to demonstrate imperfection as part of the learning process (for all of us), inspire risk taking, and quite frankly, to take a break from the fear of all the things he “knows he can’t do.” This is such a work in progress still..[/quote]

OP here.  Thanks, PP.   My DS is perfectionistic and I'm a little worried that may be either a precursor of or symptom of anxiety.

I'm trying to figure out how to get him to take more risks and become more comfortable with making mistakes.  Pi think his shyness has to do wi not wanting to make "mistakes" in social interactions and a fear of someone not liking him.  [/quote]

Hi OP.  I'm a new poster.  My DD was very shy all the way through 3rd grade.  She also had selective mutism (like another PP said they had) but we didn't know it. Turns out she also had ADHD and anxiety, which again, we didn't pick up on until 5th grade when we finally put a lot of pieces together and realized there was something else going on here besides just shyness.  I'm not rushing to diagnose your child at all, please don't read it that way.  I'm just trying to say keep an eye on things, and don't be afraid to get some outside opinions if you start to worry that this is more than shyness. What finally did it for us was the realization that DD a) was doing badly in school; b) was lacking social skills and didn't have many friends; c) was extremely impulsive and immature (she was way more immature than her brother, who is 2.5 years younger); and d) had no interests/hobbies at all.   My point is if other concerns start to wrap around the shyness, then you should look into things and see if there is an underlying reason.

FWIW, I was HORRIBLY shy all the way through college.  I'm a very outgoing confident 45 year old now.  When I tell my friends that I was shy and anxious as a kid, they can't believe it.  [/quote]

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