Reply to Importance of "no contact" after a breakup

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[quote=Anonymous]I had to finally do that with an ex bf. Dated very seriously. Saw each other often afterwards 1) bc of mutual friends 2) bc ocassionally would still go out (ugh). Even went on two weekend trips with friends.

Something clicked on the second of those trips. We drove home together (ugh), and i promised I wouldn't talk about US. It was miserable bc I still loved him.

On the night we got home, it all hit me. I would never move on if it continued. And nothing was going to bring us back. I called him in the middle of the night saying I never wanted to talk to him again. Deleted his number. Saw him ALL the time, again bc of friends, BUT treated him like a wall. The purpose wasn't to treat him badly, but to truly move on.

Over the next months, I made new friends, moved (it was a good time to move anyway). The lifelong friends i 'left behind' were still truly in my life. They just knew I'd hang out only without him. Or just talk and chat on the phone anytime.

After that, the healing was exponential. I kicked myself for waiting that long. However, I wouldn't have known until the moment I made the decision anyway.

So I dont say it has to happen to move on. It doesn't. In my case, over months, I realized it was the path for me. And it was very, very positive.

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