Reply to Teen only tells us what we want to hear (or what she thinks we want to hear)

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[quote=Anonymous]DD's psychologist says not to sweat those little white lies. It's natural for teens to want to please their parents, so they take the path of least resistance. It's easier for her to tell you she's with friends than to say she's alone.

He said not to set kids up to lie. Don't ask questions they can lie about. Tell them the facts you know, don't quiz or interrogate them and make them feel they have to say things that aren't true to please you. What difference does it make if she's at a coffee shop alone or with friends? She's obviously ok.

He suggested never punishing for lying. It won't stop the lying, it makes them better at it. It makes them trust you less. Keep an open dialogue and eventually they'll come around and be more open when they see they can trust you.

If lies are planned, multi layers, involve big cover stories and alibies, and are about safety issues, then address them. Otherwise, no need to engage about the little white lies.

Now, it's on. You to decide what you're going to do to make DD feel like she can tell you things. Why doesn't she feel so judged? Are you harsh and critical? Is she anxious? How can you resolve those things and build some trust? [/quote]

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