Reply to Teen only tells us what we want to hear (or what she thinks we want to hear)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I did this with my parents and still do, actually, when I know they'll tell me for whatever reason that what I'm doing is wrong and why it's wrong. It's easier to lie than to have to listen to them doubting my choices and preferences. [/quote]

This. I was a really good kid. Except the lying. My parents were disappointed by random small things and never wanted to understand that is ok to make mistakes and other choices than them. They didn't let me be anything but perfect so I had to keep the illusion going. It actually got really really bad as I started lying about big things (college classes I took or didn't take etc). We had it out finally at 30 (seriously!) and life is so much better now that I'm not walking on eggshells and being deceitful and that they understand and let me make my choices (I turned out totally ok btw and successful). 
Speak to her. Be supportive to be supportive and not only of things you approve of. She needs to feel you listen and value her judgement and then you get to start the conversations about why she's making those choices. [/quote]

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