Reply to When young teens make the plans, do you double check w/the parents?

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[quote=Anonymous]My 13yo recently got a phone - yes, incredibly late in this day and age, I know, but it wasn't a big priority for him until recently. Now he has been making plans w/friends directly rather than me organizing with the parents. This is fine with me but I'm realizing that it leaves a lot of opportunity for misunderstanding.

For example, he was invited w/some other friends to spend the afternoon at a friend's house and then stay the night - I didn't think I needed to do a separate confirmation with the parents because they are always super eager for these get-togethers for their only child. However after the fact I realized (via social media) that they had basically been out of the house the entire time my kid was there (at a wedding in another state, returned in the middle of the night.) There were no problems but if I'd realized that the plan was for a bunch of 13yo boys to spend most of the day and night without any adult supervision, I'd have said no way.

Another example was an invite to go to the movies with a friend. I dropped him at the other kid's house and told the mom I'd be happy to pick them up if she wanted me to. She just waved me off and I didn't have any info about which theater they were going to. Then a couple of hours later I got a call from my son saying the movie was over, his friends had left in an uber, and he didn't know where he was. It got sorted out immediately but it was another case where this would not have happened if the plans had been made among the parents instead of the kids.

I'll be honest, I'm sort of irked with the parents in both these cases, but it also left me feeling uncertain about how to give my son more autonomy while avoiding these kinds of misunderstandings. Thanks for any advice!
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