Reply to 50th Anniversary Gift -- what trip will 10K buy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]13:13 again.

OP, I get that you "can't do nothing."  When my parents had their 50th, they threw their own party. (My mom wanted to arrange everything. She was in heaven.) They specifically said "No gifts." I got them something simple and symbolic of their union. My mom was really touched.

In my opinion, what my parents really wanted (and got, even if for a night) was similar to what most people would want in that situation. "Your presence is the present."  Is it possible to arrange for all of the immediate family (you / your family + any siblings and their families) to do something together (so not cousins, various aunts/uncles, etc.)? I don't think many couples celebrating their 50th want something elaborate planned, but simply want a weekend "together." If you think your mom would be open to a gathering like this, then that might be more personal to them.  Of course, someone would have to do the planning.

My college roommate's parents had a family gathering for their 50th. All the kids attended and they had "50 golden gifts" all wrapped in gold-colored wrapping paper. She said the gifts ranged from nice things (jewelry) to gag gifts (Gulden's mustard) to "outside the box" things (DVD of On Golden Pond, gold hand towels, etc.)  The range and variety of gifts were perfect for her parents' sense of humor. [/quote]

OP again: this was the family/friends dinner that was nixed. My husband got leave for the weekend of the anniversary, and we were planning to visit with the kids, and I was going to ask my brother to come down from NYC (no kids there) so we could do just close family. Again, I was told "no," this time by my dad who said they might go away.

If I had to guess, I would say my mom has a lot of mixed emotions about this anniversary combined with severe social anxiety, and that they've had some arguments about it, starting with party vs. no party, which I have not been privy to. I think at this point, neither of them wants to be in a position to have to have the "right" reaction at an event, and that the anniversary has probably brought some of the long term issues in their marriage back in the open. I don't know any of this for sure, but literally every idea I had that had us acknowledging their anniversary in any way with our presence was completely shut down. We see them reasonably frequently, so it's not that they don't like spending time with us.

So after a year of agonizing about this with my brother, and repeated attempts to come to a "gathering"-type solution, we ended up deciding on the travel gift.

My father would be hurt if we did nothing at all, and I just don't have it in me after a year of party/no party to start gathering photos or something. I just want to acknowledge the occasion with something suitably grand and move on. I'm just hoping this fits the bill. I started second-guessing myself and thinking we should have spent a little more.[/quote]

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