Reply to Fourth Grade DD -- how to instill gratitude and tone down sass/back talk

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So we spend weekend running to sport game for kids, take them to a family party of their best friends Saturday night, take her to the toy store , but at night she is fighting with her sister. After asking her to be nice, or we own benefit with friends, I express exacerbation that she doesn't appreciate how much we do for her, and her response is[b] 'well I didn't ask to go to the toy store[/b] ' (which is technically true as I was running an errand there, but she had fun and went home with some free knick knack)

She is crazy stubborn, probably highly sensitive (so is always ruminating, hangs back on new social situations), and generally a hard working kid.

But we feel she is really lacking in gratitude for what she does have (and maybe we aren't best models - I can definitely get frustrated as working parents always living in a little chaos short of enough cash), but more importantly we need to quash this back talk/sass and maybe tone down stubbornness

Is this part of being 10? Tween attitude? Or are we doing something wrong? [/quote]

I think you should think about what kind of relationship you want with your child.  I don't see her comment as being 'sassy' per say and I don't think it means she doesn't appreciate anything.  She was just telling you her viewpoint which you admit is true (she didn't ask to go to the toy store)  Perhaps you were all tired from running around and that you were both "out of sorts?"  The thing is kids don't think of what parents do for them.  They are very center focused and see this as normal.  I would suggest not doing so much so you don't get frazzled and I would start modeling the behavior you want in your DD.  Thank you them for picking up their shoes or your DH for cooking ( just examples)

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