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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I saw this on a friends facebook page this morning and I love it.

DH and I have had some of the toughest talks in our marriage (yes sometimes at 2 AM when we're not at our best) about how "all you need to do is ask" doesn't cut it, especially now that we have an infant.  He was operating on the assumption that I'd do all night wakings and if I needed help, I'd just ask him.  I told him this wasn't working but he kept going with the "just ask me when you need help" and I eventually had a complete breakdown in the middle of the night when I yet again couldn't get him to wake up and help.

We're doing so much better now but I still remember that night vividly because that's the closest I've ever come to thinking I was going to either murder or divorce him.[/quote]

omg pp that's the point I'm at now. And even asking for help is so much work. Like this article shows, detailing when I need help is as much work as just doing the work. I don't have a son yet, but I will raise him to do the same work as my daughters. [/quote]

I'm the PP you quoted and the thing that has helped the most is having a clear division of labor.  There are a bunch of tasks that are exclusively his so I never have to think about them.  That way, it's never a discussion, they just get done so I'm not managing it.  It's so much harder for the tasks that we need to share (like night wakings) but at least the daily tasks that always need to be done that can be split can get done without a discussion.[/quote]

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