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[quote=Anonymous]I saw this thread, and literally am in the same position as OP. Surprise pregnancy with my 4th and 10wks but feeling so scared and anxious, and have been actually secretly hoping I naturally miscarry. Which makes me feel like a terrible mother. I know my older three kids would love another sibling, and my husband and I can financially handle it (not without added stress of course), but I don't know that I want to put myself through another pregnancy, another csection, post partum (I had a horrific time for months after my third), infancy, feeling overwhelmed with the needs of 4, etc. I have three healthy kids and am terrified of something being wrong with this baby, even though statistically I know the odds are in my favor. I don't know we want to roll the dice again.

My husband is supportive and wants whatever I want. I've met with my OB and he said we can terminate and it's a choice that I'd be making for my whole family. I'm on lexapro which manages my anxiety, but I have yet to feel any joy or excitement. I feel so torn and sad I'm in this position. I wish I could just be happy about this, like I have with my previous three pregnancies. Something just feels so off about this one. I should feel grateful and blessed, but I really deep down just feel terrified. Part of me feels like I will feel relief if I terminate but another part feels that I will have guilt/regret/sadness.

Wondering if anyone else has been in this position? [/quote]

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