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[quote=Anonymous]My older DC is HFA and is currently a sophomore in college.  He went weekly to a social skills group from mid 4th grade to 12 grade.   He is still it of step with his neurotypical peers, but catching up.  He is ahead of his HFA peers.  At first, the group was the first place he went where people looked forward to seeing him and he to them as he had alienated his peer group in school.  Together they learned some of the social graces.  They practiced listening and asking emotional questions (not technical ones).  He basically used it - but was "faking it", now he is actually "making it".  We scripted coonversationed at home too.  Once he got the hang of that, the social skills group was a friendship group and a problem solving group.  They would each bring in a situation they experienced and discussed how to react the next time.  They had to bring up a positive and a negative thing and they couldn't always bring up the same ting week after week.  With HFA, IME- they are always behind a few to more years on the social scene - so there is always something that comes up as they age.  This group was helpful throughout that.

In HS, we saw how his work manifested in decent relations at school and in our inclusive congregation's youth group.  He felt he found a place where he belonged.  Now in college, he has found his tribe in a club that meets every Sat night and with study groups.  He is still out of step with neurotypical students, but he is closing that gap and is in a major where he is much closer to the norm. He starts a paid internship today in a field that is close to his major.  It pays enough for him to pay his bills this summer and save bit if he is careful.  I am really proud of his progress, but its is slow and small steps add up to bigger things over time.

Besides the weekly study group from 4th-12th grade, the things that helped him were orchestra, scouts, and our congregation's RE then youth group.  There are congregations all over the faith spectrum that  practice and teach inclusiveness.  I would encourage a band instrument too- as band in HS is a great place for social activity and bonding.  Orchestra doesn't quite get there, but it is still a good option. Theatre is another EC that embraces differences.

The other thing I liked about his social skills group,is that his facilitator did a monthly parent group.  At first we learned techniques for helping DC learn social skills, then practice them.  THen, she was very helpful when an issue would crop up, offering suggestions and guidance.  It was also helpful to talk to other parents while the social skills class was going on.  It became of parent support group of sorts.

What does your DC's social skill group facilitator think of his progress?  SOmetimes, things that look like regression to us are really a sign that they have moved up to the next level and need to learn different tactics.  If you think it just isn'tworking for him, try another group.  [/quote]

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