Reply to Big Law: Does anyone turn down a partnership opportunity?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm now a in a counsel position (non-equity).  The firm plans to put me up for partner at the end of the year.   I'm considering turning it down.  Life has been so stressful the last few years, attempting to "balance" a big law career with the needs of two pre-school/elem. kids and DH.  I sleep 4-5 hours/night. I'm constantly stressed, constantly behind on client work, leading to more stress. My practice area is very strong right now and we are understaffed, so the pace is more frantic than it should be if we were better leveraged with a team of capable associates. But Big Law is always stressful and there is always a client emergency, no matter how well-staffed your practice area is. I am currently "part time" billing 1700-1900 hours (+bus dev and admin work). I've already made clear to the firm that I will not commit to 2600+ hours/year and it seems as though the powers that be are quite happy for me to create a custom partnership position with lower billable / bus dev expectations - probably in line with my current hours expectations. I realize this flexibility is not usually offered to junior partners and I should be thrilled, but I am the opposite.  Life feels untenable and I can't bear the thought of it continuing like this. I'm burned out, my relationship with DH is suffering, and I feel like I'm missing valuable time with my kids.

I'm seriously contemplating resigning rather than drafting my partnership plan.

Pros of partnership: I like my career field and value my colleagues and mentors on my team; as stressful as this life is, I seem to have found a great firm who is committed to my practice and is permissive - even encouraging - of 'part time' work; and I would (theoretically) work the same hours I do now for more money

Cons:  Seems obvious from reading above. But, if I step away it will be difficult if not impossible to get back to the place where I am currently in my field. For a variety of reasons, I don't have much in the way of alternate job prospects because my family is not willing to relocate (though if we were willing to relocate, I would have many opportunities).  My best alternative would be to join a boutique virtual law firm or go solo, but after 12+ years at the same firm I'm nervous and feel unprepared to handle the admin needs of solo work.  The money would be nice. DH earns more than I do now, but his earnings are likely to decrease over time due to his industry so it would be great to build up our savings, finish paying student load debt and fund college accounts before giving up my big law salary.

From a professional standpoint, I shouldn't pass up a potential partnership promotion.  But, from a life-balance perspective, I feel like it should be obvious to quit my job.

Have you - or anyone you know - declined to pursue partnership? If so, did you stay on as counsel or senior associate or leave Big Law all-together?  Have you ever regretted either decision?

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