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[quote=Anonymous]OP, "high-functioning" is a pretty broad term.  Many people use it when referring to autistic kids who are verbal and can manage public situations with supports where someone else might use it to referring to autistic kids who, in some situations, don't appear autistic to the lay person.  Also, different kids will also have difficulties in different situations.  A good classroom fit may be a non-stressful situation for a kid but very stressful for someone else.  Since the behavior stemming from ASD is often from stress and anxiety, creating a space and routine that is non-stressful removes a lot of the more obvious behavior.  There are also likely accommodations that are invisible to you that make things easier for this girl.

I wouldn't necessarily characterize your brother as lying to you about your nephew.  It's entirely possible their medical team has used the term "high functioning" with them and there is a natural tendency when you're faced with an autism diagnosis to try to minimize or rationalize away the problems.  Facing a future of long term decisions for someone unable to hold employment is really, really daunting and no one wants to think that's where they will be 15 years down the line.  Sometimes I think we characterize things as we would want them to be, not necessarily as an outside observer might see.

I think it's great that you're trying to learn more.  Just be supportive for them and you'll be helping so much.

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