Reply to Feeling hopeless about relationship with a**h*** DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, don't listen to the "you are exhausting" troll. It says that to everyone.

Your husband doesn't have a right to emotionally abuse you to blow off steam when he's stressed. He needs to understand that. There is no excuse for a stressed person to make another person his verbal punching bag. Consider what you're teaching your daughter with this example. You don't want her to grow up thinking it's okay and normal and to find herself in the same situation.

Your husband is really checked out. He should be expecting to pitch in more in the household, especially now that you have a child.

Always on his phone, "working" so many random long hours, (yet finding time to watch television half the night), and picking fights and running off (where and to who?) are things cheaters do, too. Most men would respond positively if you commented on how sexy they look. He got mad, picked a fight, and went out for hours. Kind of a glaring red flag, if you ask me.

Things don't sound good, and I'd be surprised if it gets better. You need to do something now. Look into what he's really doing. Go with him to a better therapist. [/quote]

OP here.  I do worry a lot about what we're teaching DD and am not sure how to deal with this while staying in the relationship.  I'm not worried that he's cheating or what he's up to.  He's good at keeping me in the loop about where he is and if he's working late at the office, I know he's there because he'll call me from his work line.  I guess he could have a quickie at a nearby hotel or tryst with a coworker and still manage to call me from work, but then he's damn good at hiding it!  He normally reacts positively when I comment on how he looks, it was just this one time that he got pissed.

I do agree that he is checked out, not with respect to DD, but with me.  He doesn't deal with stress well, is very much an introvert and needs a lot of alone time - hours spent in front of the TV - to decompress.  i get where he is coming from because I also like having a lot of alone time, but the difference is that I've given up on most of it because I'm a wife and mom now.  While DD is so young, his need for alone time doesn't affect her so much, but eventually, she will notice and I wonder what it will be like then.  [/quote]

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