Reply to SAHD not wanting to return to work

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[quote=jjconcern]What a difficult situation that the two of you have innocently created, i.e. your logic that it made more sense for him to be home rather than you due to your career.  Problem is in my estimation that DH has not been in the work force for over 11 years and has probably lost his confidence as men are prone to do when not employed and he is probably less employable now and will need to settle for a less desirable job.  Also from how you describe his typical day he seems to be hiding from reality and what he does as a SAHM is hit or miss.   I am not sure of why he didn't return to work after the 5-6 years that the two of you agreed upon which would have been less time out of the workforce.   I would seek marital counseling which may reveal that your husband is depressed and feeling worthless underneath what appears to be laziness.  Either way the two of you would benefit from having a third party help you devise a plan to reestablish roles and the division of work that goes into maintaining a marriage and family,  if you are to continue to stay married.  Right now both of you are resentful of each other.  You both will probably have to compromise.  Life is too short to waste it on resentment and bitterness and it affects your children's future happiness. My son is a SAHD getting ready to go back to work after 6 1/2 years and jobs available are looking pretty bleak so I am speaking from personal observation.  Hugs to all of you.[/quote]

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