Reply to SAHD not wanting to return to work

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[quote=Anonymous]So before we had kids we agreed that DH would stay home until they were in school full time. It was a decision based on the fact that I had a career with upward mobility, whereas his was more of a job where it isn't as detrimental long term to leave for a while; the fact that my job requires travel in order to move up and we knew it would be awful for both of us to work F/T with me traveling and no one being there for our child; and temperament - he's better at parenting than I am and we always knew that'd be the case.

We agreed - home for about 5-6 yrs, after which we'd get a nanny etc. (finances wouldn't be a huge issue). So fast forward 11 yrs and DH is STILL home. 2 kids - both in full time school so they're gone all day long. They are also now old enough that they want to play sports, do activities, go to summer camps for some part of the summer - so it's not even like they are running home the minute school ends. DH OTOH spends his time video gaming; watching TV ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. I don't expect that bc he's home, he should do all the housework - but I do expect him in taking the lead re dinner, laundry, and errands (we have a cleaning person - so it's not like I'm expecting him to be scrubbing the bathroom). Even then - with the kids gone 30-40 hrs/wk, I'd say he takes care of dinner, laundry and errands maybe 1/2 the time - and that's when I nag; and by dinner - I mean picking up take out, I'm not expecting him to whip up a 4 course meal. In the meantime I work about 50-60 hrs a wk, usually getting home around 8-9 pm, and travel a fair amount.

I've brought up returning to work and he is hemming and hawing. Finally it comes out today that he doesn't want to go back to any kind of regular office 40 hr/wk job with a set schedule. This isn't about money - we can be fine with him being a SAHD - but am I wrong in being a bit resentful that he doesn't WANT a job tying him down? I don't particularly WANT to work 60 hrs/wk either - yet I do it bc I know that's what it takes to pay the mortgage/bills, save for retirement/college etc. WWYD?[/quote]

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