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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I need to read the love languages book. My neighbor told me about it. I forget what she said, but there was something about showing love by words, touch, actions...it sounded very interesting. Thanks for that reminder.

I love what a PP said about the empty nest years. I hope that's true for us. I really want to have that with my dh.

And it's interesting what another PP said about the counselor asking her dh what he did for his wife and he responded with making dinner. The counselor's answer was very interesting to me because it's absolutely right and I would not have thought about that being for the family and not for the wife. My dh does similar things--he pitches in a lot with cooking and kids lunch making. I always feel badly when i can tell he is helping a lot but still that's not something that warms my heart.  I truly appreciate it and value it, but it doesn't feel romantic. Maybe that's not my love language. Or maybe it's directed at the family and not towards me.

It's all confusing. We have elementary aged kids so we have a while to go before an empty nest. I hope I figure out something sooner than that. I think that my dh's love language has something to do with me going back to work--this is not a slight against either SAHMs or working outside the home moms. I've been both and both have their pros and cons. I think my dh is conservative especially when it comes to finances and this is a pricey area to live in. It is a source of stress for him. He likes to have savings and little debt. So when I went back to work full time after staying home for 10 years, I feel he was really happy and appreciative.

[b]Are love languages different for men and women, typically[/b]? [/quote]

They're just different because you're different people, not because you're male or female. The idea is to know what yours is so you can articulate it and to know what your partner's is. AND you have to be okay with the fact that what makes you happy isn't necessarily what makes your partner happy. For example, my partner feels loved and appreciated if I remember little things she likes at the store and then buys them without any reminders, like a particular mustard or soap or some product she mentioned in passing. But I could care less if she does the same for me. I mean, sure, I appreciate it, but if she didn't do it, I wouldn't feel ignored or unloved. Sometimes she gets frustrated because she'll buy me something small and expects a different response. I don't get all excited the way she does when I do that for her. I feel appreciated and loved when she touches me, like takes my hand in public, hugs me, snuggles on the couch, etc. [/quote]

Thank you for your response. This makes a lot of sense.  I was just wondering if men and women tend to have a more common love language.[/quote]

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