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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Lonely_Sojourner][quote=Anonymous]Perhaps, Internet dating isn't for you since you prefer interpersonal contact and it would be hard to perceive online if a woman is a match  for your southern charm. Are you looking for someone in your age range? Someone without kids? Someone long-term? Short term?

You seem to have many great qualities and should have no problem finding a suitable partner. You may just have to put yourself out there and get involved in some activities or groups so you can meet new people. [/quote]

Thank you as well for responding.  I'm open to dating ladies with or without kids and I am not hell-bent on age either.  My last relationship was with a single mom with three kids and she was in her late thirties.  We dated for 4-5 months and the primary reason that I broke up with her was over her poor financial situation and the fact she couldn't manage money.  She was making ~$140K working for a large international corp located in DC and yet, was having to drive Uber on the weekends to make ends meet.  Another issue that didn't sit well with me was the fact that she was sacrificing spending time with her kids to spend time with me.  In my view, kids come first.

I completely agree with you as I'm a bit shocked over the problems I'm having and I'm quickly realizing that internet dating is basically a numbers game; you have to "play if you want to win"...  Being a strategic thinker and a long-range type of guy, I'm much more suited for long-term relationships.  For example, I was married for 16 years and prior to being married, I was in a relationship for ~9 years. 
 
L_S
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To be fair, raising 3 kids on 140k is tough in this area. My dad was a single parent with 3 kids here, had to borrow a ton of money, barely made ends meet, had debt for years, and his credit is ruined. Also, as a woman, it's difficult to keep a man around if you don't sacrifice some kid time. Just some things to think about.

I think the problem with online dating is it gives people the impression that they can find a perfect partner NOW, when the reality is that it takes years to find the right one. That's not so bad when you're just dating the random people you meet in real life, but is extremely frustrating when you suddenly have hundreds of options and none are right. Sort of like if you went to a restaurant, ordered something off the menu, and they kept bringing out the wrong dish over and over.

[b]I had much better luck when I stopped expecting a soul mate and started seeing it as a way to meet new and interesting people. I also put a lot more time and effort into developing my own life and interests, which is ultimately how I met my DH. Are there any hobbies or activities you've wanted to try but were never able to[/b]?[/quote]

OP, please re-read the paragraph in bold above and commit it to memory. It's the way to go. Focus on your interests (and on doing some good, such as perhaps finding volunteering that actually interests you and which you feel is important to do). You will meet people that way, but please--don't go into any activity or join a group or start volunteering just with the goal of meeting someone to date. Value the activity for its own sake and you will possibly end up meeting women who are also in that activity for its own sake.(If you don't, then at least you learned something or had new experiences or helped someone else.) Shared interests and values are (as I know you know already) the most important thing. If you give off a vibe that you're doing activities or are a "joiner" just to meet women, believe me, the women will pick up on that vibe and will be turned off. So should you be, if you realize a woman is in an activity just to husband-hunt and will be gone once she's done or finds the activity doesn't work out.

Basically, do what you think is worthwhile and fulfilling and of value to the world at large, and you will meet others doing the same thing. The basis for anything else that happens will be a much richer and more real basis than you'll find in random online match-ups. [/quote]

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