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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is in this almost identical scenario, except older grades. I have tried to drop hints that she is being left out of things and although she didn't see it at all at first, she is starting to get that. (And is understandably very upset.) She is willing, however, to keep sitting there because she doesn't know where else to go. Sitting with girls who aren't being inclusive (and actually, are being somewhat mean) is better in her mind than being adrift without a group to sit with.

We spend a lot of time talking about friendship and how true friends act and the importance of loyalty. (DD is also a very black and white thinker, so it can be hard for her to see that there are other girls who would be better friends because even though they may have less in common, they are more accepting.)

Planting the seed has been the best way to go with my DD. She does eventually see what's happening as I point things out. (This is not the first time we've been down this road, unfortunately.) I also try to suggest alternatives and have her start thinking in that mode. So she can eventually switch off the "there's no where else to go" and get to the "maybe I can try this" stage. It takes time and she needs to get there herself but guiding her down that path isn't helicoptering, it's just assisting with social skills that come more naturally to some kids than others.[/quote]

Guidance counselors are great with introductions into a group that they know will be inclusive, that she has more in common with AND that she can sit with at lunch & they do it without any of the kids being aware that it's even a "set up". ;)[/quote]

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