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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's hard to know what to do--how to guess the future exactly--but here are some things to consider:
-the longer he is out of work and you are the breadwinner, the more likely he will be awarded alimony or some kind of support. 
-the longer he is out of work and you are the breadwinner, the more your joint assets (assets primarily paid for with your money) will likely grow and the more you will have to pay him (i.e. your house will appreciate in value, your retirement 401k will be larger). even if you own the house (it's in your name), he will be eligible for 50% of its increase in value during the time you were married.
-if he is a SAH and you are a WOH and this is a documented arrangement, the more likely he will get primary custody of your daughter.

When you say it's expensive to divorce, it's true, it is, but that cost will only grow with time not shrink and recede. If things are not good now and permanently so, kicking the can down the road will lead to a larger can, IMHO.[/quote]

Custody of my daughter is what I most worry about. I could not stand to lose custody. That would kill me.

We rent now. We had to sell a lovely house and downsize because we could no longer afford it, due to the loss of income. Him staying home was not an arrangement we agreed upon. The loss of income has seriously hurt us. What most damaged our relationship wasn't the job loss so much, but the absolute lack of effort in trying to find another one. We've talked about it so much over the years that there is no way he doesn't know it bothers me. It has been brought up many, many times. I'm just resigned now to the fact that it's not going to change and trying to make the best of it. The most important thing to me is my daughter. I think I can live like this, but am worried it's going to get tough as the years go by and this is how I'm living. On the other hand, it would be nice to grow old with someone who knows me well and is the father of my child.

Maybe I just need more time.

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