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[quote=pbraverman][quote=Anonymous]OP here.
Thanks for the response. Unfortunately, he is more than a bit uninspired and argumentative.
He is disruptive, disrespectful, fails to listen to anything we say despite taking away nearly every privilege.

Yesterday is a good example. He was supposed to go to detention after school but he didn't go because he said yesterday was like a weekend because of no school.

He went home and after using up his allotted 30 minutes on the computer became bored and frustrated because he is locked out of the tv.  He decided to unplug most of the tv's in the house from cable boxes, etc. He re-programmed the thermostats in the house. The a/c was on.  He took my medicine for high blood pressure (shocking I know) and hid it. He re-set my ipad after too many failed password entries.  He then made 5 bags of microwave popcorn.

And this was just yesterday.[/quote]

That does sound like a miserable day. I'm sorry; it must be hard for you.

Notwithstanding the pronouncements above, I've spent 25 years working with adolescents and I'm totally unqualified to diagnose your child. However, the defiance, especially as it includes the potential danger involved in hiding your meds, is cause for concern. If you haven't checked in with a qualified and trusted therapist, I think it's worth doing so now. There are aspects of your son's behavior about which I'd want to know more if he were my child or student, and I'd want some professional input on whether suspending privileges is likely to be effective with your child. (At some point you can only take away so many things, y'know? It seems like you're aware of that.)

A colleague once said something that's stuck with me (and that I haven't always followed, because I'm a crappy parent, just like everybody): When you impose consequences for behavior, it's always better to think about the goal you're pursuing. It's easy in anger to send the message that you have the power, and dammit, you're going to use it. But that doesn't always help the child. The more a consequence can be designed to create incentives for better behavior, the more likely it is to change that behavior. Consequences are important, but they're only one tool to reinforce values and change behavior.

Not to put too fine a point on it: The behavior you described is outside the norm for a bored preadolescent. I would seek some professional guidance. To me the question of boarding school would be secondary.

Best of luck. This is not easy territory.
Peter

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