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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. All valid points made above. I could accept low pay, if he worked fewer hours. That is just not going to happen with this job. Our kids are 12 and 14 and do need to be driven to multiple activities. I feel like I have pulled more than my weight for years since he is rarely around. I have looked for a new higher paying job as well, but honestly would feel resentful taking on even more stress to keep him where he is. I don't expect for him to magically find a job, just to make a serious attempt to see what else is out there. If nothing,  so be it.[/quote]

PP, I would say that your 12 and 14 year old[b] don't [/b]have to be driven to activities. They can be restricted to activities that are family schedule friendly (on weekends or at the school and they can walk home, or they can take public transit to get there. As much as it sucked, I just couldn't participate in activities when I was a kid because both my parents worked and had long commutes.  I fully recognize that my way of giving my kids what I didn't have revolves around activities.   I have had to compromise wth DH what activities they are involved in and get his support with drop off and pickups etc for the activity or frankly the answer is no.  And there are certain things my kids are not involved in because it would be too big of a commitment.

Either your husband values the activities your kids are in and wants them to do all these things, in which case he should be willing to help make it happen, or YOU want them to do it and are willing to do all the work to make it happen.  Agree first on what you value and if you find a disconnect, hear each other out and  come up with joint solutions for a compromise.  While I wouldn't tell DH to get a new job that makes more money, there would not be a scenario in which I'm getting a new job with no flexibility making more money AND doing all the things I did prior due to the flexibility of my old job.[/quote]

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