Reply to Giving Tree and Accepting Child with Autism may Never be Grateful

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Reply to "Giving Tree and Accepting Child with Autism may Never be Grateful"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP -- I hear you. I have this very child. The advice I got from a CBT therapist was that we couldn't make our child feel the feelings but he had to take the appropriate actions.

So, he doesn't need to love human beings, but he needs to say 'good morning." He doesn't understand why we have to give a bday gift to friends, but we do it. He has to sign the card. He has to be polite. He has to go through the motions until they become second nature.

You will have to remind the child almost daily to do the little things. It just doesn't come naturally. It hurts my feelings as well. I get really down about this sometimes too. I could drop dead tomorrow and my child would probably be most concerned with who is going to make his lunch. :/[/quote]

OP checking back. OMG, you nailed it! I both laughed and cried reading this. That would so be my older son at my funeral. It breaks my heart to think of how panicked he would be until he found out who will do X,Y and Z for him!

I really appreciate so many of these posts. It gave me hope to read the post about the girl on the spectrum who shows gratitude. I agree we have to  spell things out and even have "rules" for things like birthdays, holidays, etc.

We do have him in a social skills group, but didn't know there are social etiquette groups too. Where do I find that? I assume this isn't something where he has to wear a suit and tie -I think that is called cattilian or something? I think he'd be kicked out of that based on what other parents have shared with me.

Thank you for these posts from all the people who get it. I know parenting is a selfless endeavor, but sometimes spectrum parenting wares me down. I got time to exercise and am back up between the exercise and reading the helpful responses. Thank you![/quote]

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