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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Surely you are mature and resourceful enough to figure out this doesn't need to be all or nothing?

Go for a few days. Spend Christmas day at your home. Travel the next day and stay at one set of parents house for one or two nights, then at the other parents' house for one or two nights.

Bring exactly what you feel is reasonable. Homemade cards, a few framed photos, a gift card or two. Just because other people go overboard doesn't mean you have to. Bring what you think is appropriate, or bring nothing at all and say you donated in the name of each family to the United Way or a children's hospital or whatever has meaning for you.

I swear, some people would rather complain and wring their hands and mush-mouth about how overwhelming everything is rather than take two seconds and figure out what you actually can and want to do. And then nut up and do it.[/quote]

Surely you can't be so obtuse to think that our showing up with very little will actually be taken positively. In the past we've cut down a bit on our giving (or really just focused more on gift cards) and people were not impressed, despite our donating much of their gifts to goodwill. We've actually discussed cutting back on giftgiving and offered up other options (secret santas, charity donations, etc), none of which were acceptable to my inlaws.

I swear, some people would like to take every opportunity to put down others. [/quote]

And? So? So they won't "take it positively." So they won't "be impressed." So what? BIG DEAL. If they choose to be rude or disappointed or whtever, that's their choice. THEN you would actually have good reason to stay away from them, and just visit your family or stay at your own home. If they have a problem with that, THEN you can tell them point-blank that you won't be participating in their overblown version of the holidays.

So they won't be impressed/take it positively? SO. WHAT?[/quote]

OMG, PP. Why would I go JUST TO STIR THE POT. If I go to someone's house for a holiday, it is responsible to enjoy it according to their customs. How rude to go and try to enforce my own values. You sound like someone who just enjoys confrontation and who is convinced your way is the only way. [/quote]

And it seems you want to make this a doomsday scenario just so you can justify avoiding your ILs and keeping the only grandchild to yourself on Christmas. If you go, it might not be perfect, but your child will probably enjoy time with family. But you've decided that it is your way, or no way.

Wow. [/quote]

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