The pressure to smile

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[Post New]03/27/2008 09:28
Anonymous
call me devil's advocate.... but say you met a stranger on the street and tried to start mundane conversation who acted like a rude bitch to you. would you empathize with them if they had just lost a child?

i would venture to guess that you would not. you would wonder why this person was so mean and rude when you were just trying to make conversation.

i just think it's amusing and ironic how everyone on this board can be so quick to judge the "mean" party when the offended person puts up a post and yet be sooo sympathetic to the person who on the surface appears like a mean person when they explain their back story.
[Post New]03/27/2008 09:37
clarabow
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:call me devil's advocate.... but say you met a stranger on the street and tried to start mundane conversation who acted like a rude bitch to you. would you empathize with them if they had just lost a child?

i would venture to guess that you would not. you would wonder why this person was so mean and rude when you were just trying to make conversation.


Honestly, I might immediately feel taken aback and wonder why, but then I'd assume something else might be going on and this person (a stranger to me) was having a bad day. I've trained myself to take that extra step, as it doesn't always come naturally, but it is a habit that can be developed.

I'm not sure how on-point your hypothetical is, though. The OP presumably is not being a "rude bitch" -- she's just having a hard time being all-smiles. Her post seemed almost philosophical, asking why society puts pressure on us to put forth a facade that might be fake or even inappropriate given whatever our individual circumstances might be. She wasn't asking for a free pass to be rude, just permission to maintain some privacy with respect to her emotions.
[Post New]03/27/2008 10:47
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:call me devil's advocate.... but say you met a stranger on the street and tried to start mundane conversation who acted like a rude bitch to you. would you empathize with them if they had just lost a child?

i would venture to guess that you would not. you would wonder why this person was so mean and rude when you were just trying to make conversation.

i just think it's amusing and ironic how everyone on this board can be so quick to judge the "mean" party when the offended person puts up a post and yet be sooo sympathetic to the person who on the surface appears like a mean person when they explain their back story.


You sound like the 03/26/2008 11:32 poster. Based on your writing, I'd say you are immature (regardless of your age). It's all about you, right. Strangers and the world need to revolve around YOUR needs. There's nothing to suggest that the OP is a mean, rude bitch. At work she's professional & courteous. I don't know where you get that the OP is "mean." Just because people don't want to continue a conversation with a stranger does not mean that they are rude. Maybe they are distracted with responsibilities. Maybe they don't feel safe with you. Maybe they detect that you are unstable and obnoxious.
[Post New]03/27/2008 11:19
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:call me devil's advocate.... but say you met a stranger on the street and tried to start mundane conversation who acted like a rude bitch to you. would you empathize with them if they had just lost a child?

i would venture to guess that you would not. you would wonder why this person was so mean and rude when you were just trying to make conversation.

i just think it's amusing and ironic how everyone on this board can be so quick to judge the "mean" party when the offended person puts up a post and yet be sooo sympathetic to the person who on the surface appears like a mean person when they explain their back story.


Why would you start a mundane conversation on a street with a stranger? Do you go up to people on the streets and start conversing with them? What kind of conversations? I'm just wondering, because I find it so hard to imagine a situation you describe.
[Post New]03/27/2008 11:22
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:call me devil's advocate.... but say you met a stranger on the street and tried to start mundane conversation who acted like a rude bitch to you. would you empathize with them if they had just lost a child?

i would venture to guess that you would not. you would wonder why this person was so mean and rude when you were just trying to make conversation.

i just think it's amusing and ironic how everyone on this board can be so quick to judge the "mean" party when the offended person puts up a post and yet be sooo sympathetic to the person who on the surface appears like a mean person when they explain their back story.


How do you come to the conclusion that the OP acts like a "rude bitch"? How does not smiling suddenly equate to being mean? I would be interested to hear your reasoning.
[Post New]03/27/2008 12:05
Anonymous
My uncle had a bad stroke at 40. He had a facial palsy that made him look very sad. The people that would ask him to smile were, in my opinion, out of line. You just never know.
[Post New]03/27/2008 12:10
Anonymous
My father never smiled, he was the nicest person ever. Always kind and considerate. My mother was always smiling, and her behavior was a whole different story (won't elaborate). The smile means little, it's what's in the heart.
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