Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try my best not to worry and enjoy the years you have now. I had similar worries because of a strong family history of mental illness, including schizophrenia. We put our sensitive, bright child in small, nurturing schools, provided therapy, gave him a caring upbringing, everything suggested. As it turns out, my son has severe mental health issues as a teen. It’s very hard. But I still love him very much and am grateful for the relatively not years of his childhood. You deal with what comes.

*Relatively normal years of his childhood*

There is something a little hurtful TBH about this post, as if families could stave off major depression or schizophrenia or their young adult child’s suicide by choosing a better preschool. You can’t. It’s a little like believing in the refrigerator mother theory of autism. I know that it’s probably more the blinders of being a parent of a baby or toddler, when you still believe that your child’s outcomes are under your control. In time you realize how little control you have, and you come to accept it.

The one piece of advice I was given by a psychiatrist is that if you have a family history of schizophrenia, avoid stimulants such as ADHD medicine.

NP here. I think you misunderstood the PP. they are saying that you CAN’T stave off major mental health issues. They tried many things to be proactive, but in the end, the mental health issues surfaced.
Though I do believe that steps a parent takes that are done with love and patience help the parent child bond, which can only help the child later.

Parental anxiety over whether it is the right school is going cancel that out.

Anonymous wrote:130 and 142 iq are not super high, maybe that’s in his favor?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try my best not to worry and enjoy the years you have now. I had similar worries because of a strong family history of mental illness, including schizophrenia. We put our sensitive, bright child in small, nurturing schools, provided therapy, gave him a caring upbringing, everything suggested. As it turns out, my son has severe mental health issues as a teen. It’s very hard. But I still love him very much and am grateful for the relatively not years of his childhood. You deal with what comes.

*Relatively normal years of his childhood*

There is something a little hurtful TBH about this post, as if families could stave off major depression or schizophrenia or their young adult child’s suicide by choosing a better preschool. You can’t. It’s a little like believing in the refrigerator mother theory of autism. I know that it’s probably more the blinders of being a parent of a baby or toddler, when you still believe that your child’s outcomes are under your control. In time you realize how little control you have, and you come to accept it.

The one piece of advice I was given by a psychiatrist is that if you have a family history of schizophrenia, avoid stimulants such as ADHD medicine.

NP here. I think you misunderstood the PP. they are saying that you CAN’T stave off major mental health issues. They tried many things to be proactive, but in the end, the mental health issues surfaced.
Though I do believe that steps a parent takes that are done with love and patience help the parent child bond, which can only help the child later.

Parental anxiety over whether it is the right school is going cancel that out.

Where do out see anxiety, PP? Didn’t you choose the best preschool for your child based on his/her needs and personally without anxiety? I know we did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try my best not to worry and enjoy the years you have now. I had similar worries because of a strong family history of mental illness, including schizophrenia. We put our sensitive, bright child in small, nurturing schools, provided therapy, gave him a caring upbringing, everything suggested. As it turns out, my son has severe mental health issues as a teen. It’s very hard. But I still love him very much and am grateful for the relatively not years of his childhood. You deal with what comes.

*Relatively normal years of his childhood*

There is something a little hurtful TBH about this post, as if families could stave off major depression or schizophrenia or their young adult child’s suicide by choosing a better preschool. You can’t. It’s a little like believing in the refrigerator mother theory of autism. I know that it’s probably more the blinders of being a parent of a baby or toddler, when you still believe that your child’s outcomes are under your control. In time you realize how little control you have, and you come to accept it.

The one piece of advice I was given by a psychiatrist is that if you have a family history of schizophrenia, avoid stimulants such as ADHD medicine.

NP here. I think you misunderstood the PP. they are saying that you CAN’T stave off major mental health issues. They tried many things to be proactive, but in the end, the mental health issues surfaced.
Though I do believe that steps a parent takes that are done with love and patience help the parent child bond, which can only help the child later.

Parental anxiety over whether it is the right school is going cancel that out.

Where do out see anxiety, PP? Didn’t you choose the best preschool for your child based on his/her needs and personally without anxiety? I know we did.

Yeah, and I didn’t need to consult strangers on the internet to do it!

Anonymous wrote:Mental illness is largely gene-dependent, OP. If he develops an actual, diagnosable disorder, it won't be because you enrolled him in the "wrong" preschool.

However mental disorders also exist on a spectrum, and the threshold for a diagnosis is necessarily arbitrary. So it's true that fostering a healthy environment might lead to reduced symptoms if your child is predisposed to certain mental disorders.

By healthy environment, I mean nutrition, sleep and exercise. You need a health body and brain. A varied, colorful diet without too much processed and artificial foods is best. Sleep helps detoxify organs and store memories correctly in the brain. Exercise regulates metabolism and helps growth.

And then there is stress mitigation and a balanced approach to life - which is what you were trying to do with this preschool selection, I suppose. But at his age, it doesn't matter. What matters for stress is enough sleep, enough food and a stable home life where he has the same roof over his head most of the time and a family that doesn't yell or hit each other. I mean, the bar is lower than you think. Stress will come into play when he gets older and needs to balance good grades with extra-curriculars and volunteering.

You also need to consider that *resilience* is a better marker for success, whether it's academic, financial or mental wellbeing. Resilience is the capacity to bounce back from stressors. So you don't want to eliminate stress. You want to model and teach how to behave while anticipating, undergoing and recuperating from stress. This requires a lot of self-awareness from you, the parent.

- geneticist.

Anonymous wrote:I have a sibling and cousin with mental illness. It's important to understand this stuff often doesn't manifest until your teens or early 20s. My sister's first severe manic episode occurred when she was in college. However, the sooner you get treated, the better off you are. The medications have also gotten better in recent years. I think everyone should chat with their kids about mental health so they know there's help to be had if this happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mental illness is largely gene-dependent, OP. If he develops an actual, diagnosable disorder, it won't be because you enrolled him in the "wrong" preschool.

However mental disorders also exist on a spectrum, and the threshold for a diagnosis is necessarily arbitrary. So it's true that fostering a healthy environment might lead to reduced symptoms if your child is predisposed to certain mental disorders.

By healthy environment, I mean nutrition, sleep and exercise. You need a health body and brain. A varied, colorful diet without too much processed and artificial foods is best. Sleep helps detoxify organs and store memories correctly in the brain. Exercise regulates metabolism and helps growth.

And then there is stress mitigation and a balanced approach to life - which is what you were trying to do with this preschool selection, I suppose. But at his age, it doesn't matter. What matters for stress is enough sleep, enough food and a stable home life where he has the same roof over his head most of the time and a family that doesn't yell or hit each other. I mean, the bar is lower than you think. Stress will come into play when he gets older and needs to balance good grades with extra-curriculars and volunteering.

You also need to consider that *resilience* is a better marker for success, whether it's academic, financial or mental wellbeing. Resilience is the capacity to bounce back from stressors. So you don't want to eliminate stress. You want to model and teach how to behave while anticipating, undergoing and recuperating from stress. This requires a lot of self-awareness from you, the parent.

- geneticist.

A family that doesn’t yell? Like the couple who never argues, right? Those never-argue seemingly happy couples who suddenly split when they can’t hold their feelings inside any longer. Who the hell has raised boys without yelling?

e
You can argue without yelling. I never yell. My boys can hear me fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, these are your genes. There is nothing you can do to prevent mental illness. You can talk about it and destigmatize treatments so suicide is less likely, though.

As a childfree person with a family history of Personality disorders and schizophrenia, I wonder why you decided to have children? Just seems quite dumb to reproduce knowingly and fret about having a child with mental problems in the future. Not being mean, just saying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mental illness is largely gene-dependent, OP. If he develops an actual, diagnosable disorder, it won't be because you enrolled him in the "wrong" preschool.

However mental disorders also exist on a spectrum, and the threshold for a diagnosis is necessarily arbitrary. So it's true that fostering a healthy environment might lead to reduced symptoms if your child is predisposed to certain mental disorders.

By healthy environment, I mean nutrition, sleep and exercise. You need a health body and brain. A varied, colorful diet without too much processed and artificial foods is best. Sleep helps detoxify organs and store memories correctly in the brain. Exercise regulates metabolism and helps growth.

And then there is stress mitigation and a balanced approach to life - which is what you were trying to do with this preschool selection, I suppose. But at his age, it doesn't matter. What matters for stress is enough sleep, enough food and a stable home life where he has the same roof over his head most of the time and a family that doesn't yell or hit each other. I mean, the bar is lower than you think. Stress will come into play when he gets older and needs to balance good grades with extra-curriculars and volunteering.

You also need to consider that *resilience* is a better marker for success, whether it's academic, financial or mental wellbeing. Resilience is the capacity to bounce back from stressors. So you don't want to eliminate stress. You want to model and teach how to behave while anticipating, undergoing and recuperating from stress. This requires a lot of self-awareness from you, the parent.

- geneticist.

A family that doesn’t yell? Like the couple who never argues, right? Those never-argue seemingly happy couples who suddenly split when they can’t hold their feelings inside any longer. Who the hell has raised boys without yelling?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, these are your genes. There is nothing you can do to prevent mental illness. You can talk about it and destigmatize treatments so suicide is less likely, though.

As a childfree person with a family history of Personality disorders and schizophrenia, I wonder why you decided to have children? Just seems quite dumb to reproduce knowingly and fret about having a child with mental problems in the future. Not being mean, just saying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, these are your genes. There is nothing you can do to prevent mental illness. You can talk about it and destigmatize treatments so suicide is less likely, though.

As a childfree person with a family history of Personality disorders and schizophrenia, I wonder why you decided to have children? Just seems quite dumb to reproduce knowingly and fret about having a child with mental problems in the future. Not being mean, just saying.

Right. They should build a time machine and go back in time to 3 years ago to warn themselves against getting pregnant.