Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

If only two months he is happy with a BJ and pizza.

He asks for verbal reassurance though

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

If only two months he is happy with a BJ and pizza.

He asks for verbal reassurance though

I am a words of affirmation and physical touch woman and DH is an acts of service quality time guy. Generally we are happy in our marriage although my dislike of 'acts of service' can be an issue from time to time.

However, it's way too early for this to be an issue in the relationship in my opinion. Assuming that you are being a considerate and kind person generally in your conversations, him asking specifically for 'reassurance' so early in the relationship is very odd. This guy sounds needy and manipulative. As his partner, it's not your job to manage his fragile ego.

DH is not a talkative person and does not generally say 'reassuring' types of things to me unless I specifically ask for it in a rough situation. He does say I love you daily though, but that didn't start until we were actually in love, and you are not even there yet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

If only two months he is happy with a BJ and pizza.

He asks for verbal reassurance though

I am a words of affirmation and physical touch woman and DH is an acts of service quality time guy. Generally we are happy in our marriage although my dislike of 'acts of service' can be an issue from time to time.

However, it's way too early for this to be an issue in the relationship in my opinion. Assuming that you are being a considerate and kind person generally in your conversations, him asking specifically for 'reassurance' so early in the relationship is very odd. This guy sounds needy and manipulative. As his partner, it's not your job to manage his fragile ego.

DH is not a talkative person and does not generally say 'reassuring' types of things to me unless I specifically ask for it in a rough situation. He does say I love you daily though, but that didn't start until we were actually in love, and you are not even there yet.

This is kind of BS, in that it kind of defeats what early relationships *should* be. So much posturing and sidestepping your own needs so you can.. what? Find that later someone can’t meet your needs. We really should stop the “needy” narrative and actually allow adults to discuss their needs, like, well, adults. Why wait until you’re “in love” to find that the person you’re with is a totally different person than you thought, and vice versa?

Anonymous wrote:Mine is quality time and acts of service. His is words of affirmation and physical affection. I’m not from a demonstrative family and we didn’t talk about feelings. He thinks I’m too guarded and I can tell he needs more verbally. I’d rather bring him a pizza or give him a BJ, but I’m trying! Anyone have any advice on how to make this easier on me so I can give him what he needs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

If only two months he is happy with a BJ and pizza.

He asks for verbal reassurance though

I am a words of affirmation and physical touch woman and DH is an acts of service quality time guy. Generally we are happy in our marriage although my dislike of 'acts of service' can be an issue from time to time.

However, it's way too early for this to be an issue in the relationship in my opinion. Assuming that you are being a considerate and kind person generally in your conversations, him asking specifically for 'reassurance' so early in the relationship is very odd. This guy sounds needy and manipulative. As his partner, it's not your job to manage his fragile ego.

DH is not a talkative person and does not generally say 'reassuring' types of things to me unless I specifically ask for it in a rough situation. He does say I love you daily though, but that didn't start until we were actually in love, and you are not even there yet.

This is kind of BS, in that it kind of defeats what early relationships *should* be. So much posturing and sidestepping your own needs so you can.. what? Find that later someone can’t meet your needs. We really should stop the “needy” narrative and actually allow adults to discuss their needs, like, well, adults. Why wait until you’re “in love” to find that the person you’re with is a totally different person than you thought, and vice versa?

Fair enough, to each his own. Personally I would not be compatible with a man who repeated asked me for 'reassurance' this early in a relationship. Sometimes people are just not compatible partners in the long-term and that no amount of 'love language' awareness can fix this. Perhaps OP is a person who is more amenable to providing her partner more 'reassurance' and validation frequently. It's hard for me to imagine being attracted to and compatible with such a person who is always seeking validation, but that may be specific to me and something that is more plateable for the OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

You should know by now

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is quality time and acts of service. His is words of affirmation and physical affection. I’m not from a demonstrative family and we didn’t talk about feelings. He thinks I’m too guarded and I can tell he needs more verbally. I’d rather bring him a pizza or give him a BJ, but I’m trying! Anyone have any advice on how to make this easier on me so I can give him what he needs?

NP here. Do you want to keep seeing him?

Anonymous wrote:This is one of my love languages and not my DH.

He has an alarm on his phone set at random times to remind him of love language wive.

Sometimes it is actual spoken word ( thanks for something, appreciate for something, etc).

Sometimes it is a sweet note on our white board, a nice text, or a sweet email.

Also remember though that lack of affirmation and hurtful words especially in a fight are more potent to a words of affirmation love languager.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op— to clarify, this is someone I’ve been dating a couple months. I’m not in love yet.

If only two months he is happy with a BJ and pizza.

He asks for verbal reassurance though

I am a words of affirmation and physical touch woman and DH is an acts of service quality time guy. Generally we are happy in our marriage although my dislike of 'acts of service' can be an issue from time to time.

However, it's way too early for this to be an issue in the relationship in my opinion. Assuming that you are being a considerate and kind person generally in your conversations, him asking specifically for 'reassurance' so early in the relationship is very odd. This guy sounds needy and manipulative. As his partner, it's not your job to manage his fragile ego.

DH is not a talkative person and does not generally say 'reassuring' types of things to me unless I specifically ask for it in a rough situation. He does say I love you daily though, but that didn't start until we were actually in love, and you are not even there yet.

This is kind of BS, in that it kind of defeats what early relationships *should* be. So much posturing and sidestepping your own needs so you can.. what? Find that later someone can’t meet your needs. We really should stop the “needy” narrative and actually allow adults to discuss their needs, like, well, adults. Why wait until you’re “in love” to find that the person you’re with is a totally different person than you thought, and vice versa?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is quality time and acts of service. His is words of affirmation and physical affection. I’m not from a demonstrative family and we didn’t talk about feelings. He thinks I’m too guarded and I can tell he needs more verbally. I’d rather bring him a pizza or give him a BJ, but I’m trying! Anyone have any advice on how to make this easier on me so I can give him what he needs?

NP here. Do you want to keep seeing him?

Yes.

Eli_whitney wrote:Does holding hands work? I would have liked that or the passing 'pat' mentioned in a previous post more than mere repetitive words. What more? Pat, pizza and an occasional BJ..he should already be on cloud nine!