Friends daughter has a speech delay and my kids ask questions to the mom
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Anonymous
Lol not much in your OP indicates that. |
Anonymous
I feel awkward because my friend is pretty adamant that there is no issue. But then boys say “but she doesn’t talk!” and other things in front of her. I do my best to encourage them to talk and play. |
Anonymous
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OP, at heart this is really just a question about how to talk to your kids about disability. Minus the facts about your friend’s denial and the fact that this kid is known to your kids. Disabled people are not going to present like cliches — “See the man in the wheelchair, he’s a brave vet who protected our country.” This is exactly why it’s tough to discuss disability, because it presents in a thorny and complex way, with denial and without clear answers.
So tell your kids the truth. Their friend can’t speak as well as they can. But she can understand everything that they say and play games too. And there are kids who have other problems too that they might meet, kids who have vision problems or hearing problems or problems understanding. But those kids can play with them too, just as much. Special needs mom |
Anonymous
| You say "She's still learning" and sit down with them to build a lego house, and once everybody's engaged, quietly leave to have a glass of wine with your friend. |
Anonymous
I still don’t see why this is awkward. Just say hmm, well she is still learning. Here’s some chalk, let’s go outside and draw on the sidewalk! |
Anonymous
| Please help your children grow up and not be ignorant a**holes. Akward? You direct them to her mom? Jfc. How about teach your children that everyone is different, and that's ok. She doesn't need to be able to speak so they can play. Also, there are plenty of other ways to communicate. At those ages it's a non-issue. |
jsmith123
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Exactly this. |
Anonymous
| DH and I adopted a little boy from overseas and he is deaf. He is the most popular kid around because we use sign language with him and he with us. Kids are fascinated and they learn soooo fast. The kids he associates with on a regular basis know the basics of ASL. Every kid wants to learn when they see others doing it. After the first few awkward moments it is no big deal. Just another kid at the birthday party or on the playground. Kids adapt to other kids who are different. Ever notice the siblings of kids with Down Syndrome don't see it as any big deal? |
Anonymous
If its awkward then stop seeing them so its not uncomfortable. You are a gossip. We had friends like you and stopped seeing them. I told people it there was no issue as there wasn't. I was getting my kid therapies and supports and it was none of your business. |
Anonymous
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There are so many ways of communicating and kids figure it out pretty quickly.
DH and i and our 4-year old daughter spent a month in Paris when DH had a project there. We rented an apartment in a local neighborhood NOT filled with expat Americans. It was the kind of neighborhood you do not hear English when you go to the bakery for bread. No tourists for the most part. I took my DD to the playground up the street each day as did the local moms and dads. Other kids would talk to her in French as I watched from the sidelines. When it was obvious she could not answer, there was moment of puzzlement all around. But then ultimately some little kid would take her by the hand and lead her over to the see-saw or whatever. We went everyday and usually 2x per day. By the end of the first week she was using single -words in French; by the end of the 2nd seek she was understanding so so much when the French kids spoke. By the end of the month she was no longer shy and spoke 4-word+ sentences with the kids. Even if she had never learned a word, all the kids would have learned how to get their intentions across. Just let the kids work it out. |
Anonymous
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^^
To the PP above: I like how the French kids did not shun your DD when she could not communicate. Take heed, OP. |
Anonymous
Np. How do you respond? I would tell my five year old cheerfully "she's still just little, she's still learning." The 5 year old can grasp that concept. This is about managing your child's behavior. |
Anonymous
+1 OP you are the “friend” everyone hopes never to have. |
Anonymous
| Let’s tap the breaks OP. The baby is two years old and is a beginning to speak in sentences... that’s great. I have five children, some were early talkers and some were like your friend’s baby. Speech, like most child development, has a fairly large window of normal. You and your kids need to chill out and just play with some toys on the floor next visit. |
Anonymous
| OP you are too much. We live overseas and my 3 and 5 year old barely notice if the kids at the park/playground can speak one of their languages or not. They are just happy to be playing outside, running, jumping, and laughing with other little kids. |