What did you do if you hated pregnancy/childbirth?
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Anonymous
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I have one DC, and I'd love to have more. Problem is, I hated pregnancy and childbirth. HATED. I was having straight up panic attacks while giving birth, and just the thought of it now (almost 5 years later) makes me feel dizzy.
I'm almost 35 and IVF isn't an option for me, and I do want more kids, so I have to start trying soon. But the thought of going through all that again makes me feel sick. I really wish we could go back to the days where you went in, got knocked out, and woke up with a baby. Anyone else been through this? What did you do? |
Anonymous
| Honestly, I sucked it up because I wanted 2 kids. And I tried to address what had been so awful. I had hyperemesis the first time so I went on medication the second time. I had a disastrous tear the first time so my doctor recommended a planned c section the second time. Some things can be improved, though not all. |
Anonymous
| I haven't BTDT, but if I were you and only wanted one more, I'd opt for an elective C section. |
jsmith123
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| OP can you talk to your OB about some options? |
Anonymous
+1. That doesn't solve the pregnancy issue, but there's no reason why you couldn't shop around for an OB that would do an elective c-section. I think that could help you feel more in control and make the other unpleasant parts more tolerable. |
Anonymous
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This is me, OP. Absolutely horrified by the idea of pregnancy and childbirth. I have no "good reason" but it is undeniably how I feel.
I had one kid by elective c-section, which was a great experience and I highly recommend it. Even though I had an easy pregnancy, I was certain I would never get pregnant again: my friends were having second kids and I felt the same horror I had before getting pregnant with my first. I have wavered because I would like another kid, but I waited too long and have not been able to keep a subsequent pregnancy (I'm 40, almost 41). Every time I have been pregnant I have felt squicky about it, and my miscarriages have been a weird mix of sadness and relief. Being one and done is good! But if you truly want another biological kid, I would get on it now: don't wait like I did. Ask your OB is there is something you can safely take for anxiety about TTC/pregnancy. And if childbirth is the issue, planned c-section is a really good answer. |
Anonymous
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Uh, I’m having a fourth.
I hate being pregnant. My first delivery was traumatic. (2 and 3 were much better, whether because they were faster or because I switched from an OB to midwives.) But I want/wanted more kids more than I wanted not to be pregnant. Might be done after this one, though. |
Anonymous
| I was an adult and recognized that it's temporary and reminded myself of all the difficult things I've done in the past. |
Anonymous
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If you're committed to the idea of having a second child, seek out a therapist who specializes in pre/postnatal issues.
I hated being pregnant (hyperemesis) and hated giving birth as well. It took me a while to realize that I had some PTSD symptoms, but a therapist was able to help me resolve some of them. Hugs, OP. Most of us are not the glowing earth-birth goddesses of myth...it's a really hard thing to go through. |
Anonymous
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I had a love/hate relationship with my pregnancy and a traumatic birth that ended in a C. I say love/hate because even though I was sick and miserable, I was happy to be pregnant, and especially once I could feel movement I did think it was special.
I'm kind of glad it ended with a C because now if I do it again I'll schedule a C (no interest in VBAC), and I've only heard good feedback from friends who've gone that route. On the pregnancy front, my sister had two pregnancies, same sex babies, and WILDLY divergent pregnancies. For one she was sick all the time, her skin broke out, her hair fell out, it was ridiculous. For the other she had the earth-mother glow, felt like a goddess, the whole shebang. She was convinced it was because the second baby must be a girl and only boys made her feel like death, but it was not. Just a complete crap shoot. It might not help you but I'm hugging that anecdote to my heart as I consider going for a second in the next year or so. |
Anonymous
| It is a personal decision and it depends on your own preferences and tolerance. I didn't enjoy being pregnant, lots of nauseas, weight loss, c-section, and babies that didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time. But after having one child I knew the second was just about being patient and hoping that year would go as fast as with my first one. Kids are now older than 3yrs, and my memory starts fading... I remember I didn't like the process, but I don't remember what it felt like. I would most definitely not have a #3 (too costly for me physically and mentally), but it was worthwhile to go over the process once more for #2. And I love and enjoy both of my children. |
Anonymous
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It's 9 months. The kid is a lifetime. I'm pregnant with my 4th.
Zofran saved me. Try it even if the nausea isn't too severe. I found it was the difference between wanting more kids. |
Anonymous
| It took me 5 years to decide to go for #2. Now I'm pregnant. It sucks but I have some perspective and am not scared out of my mind anymore. I am going to go for an elective C. My first was a C because he was breech. |
Anonymous
| My c-sections were not elective, but I guarantee you it is no better than vaginal deliveries. Its major surgery with a lot more possible complications during and after. You choose the safest option for you and the baby, which may not be the easiest delivery option. I hated being pregnant. You have to take the stance that it won't last forever and suck it up if you really, really, really want another biological child. |
Anonymous
| I have two, both totally uneventful pregnancies and births, although the first one was over 24 hours. I am so relieved to not want a third enough that I opt for another pregnancy and childbirth. If your balance tips the other way, I'd make a list of things that are realistic and would make both pregnancy and labor better for you and try to make those happen. I only had vaginalni births but if you would prefer to be "knocked out," discuss options for an elective c-section with your OB. |